Goodbye to 2007...

No matter how far I run away from them, they still cause tears to fall from my eyes. Distance is no barrier to pain. Ignorance at times is my only protection. I am loyal to a fault. My strength is my greatest weakness and in turn I become my own worst enemy. What I say I never want is the only thing I crave. Fear of failure is the net that keeps me from falling into that trap. Constantly searcing for that missing piece when deep down inside I know I will never find it. Never fully understanding myself but meticulously expecting everybody else to... and so another year comes to an end. A year of various intense emotions and a year of letting go. I know they will never love me the way I want them to love me but I rest knowing that they love me the best way they know how. I will prioritize others as they prioritize me. I will let go and once again start all over. What will I gain from holding on besides dissappointment. So what, I'm what she never really wanted, he wanted more, she's selfish, he's failing, he feels that saying sorry made it all better, she's annoying, she feels avoiding is fixing, he used me to get to her, he never really knew me and never will, he doesn't listen... you're only a victim if you let youself be one. The first law of nature is self preservation. It's time to take care of me and let go. I recognize the pain I have inflicted as well and there is no justification for that but I have exhausted all efforts to make things better. My words can hold nothing only my hands. Misunderstood to the fullest. A complicated girl is what he made me to be, built on a weak foundation, tied together with insecurities, dipped in the seven deadly sins and hung out to dry... Hate me for who I am rather than love me for who I'm not... farewell